Yeah, you’ve seen the acronym…”BFF” (Best Friends Forever). Seems to be eternally popular among teenage girls. Consider…what *does* make someone your “best friend”…..Forever?
Late in my life, I found out…
If you’ve read my blog for long, you’ve caught some glimpses of stuff from my youth that “wasn’t pretty”. There are things I want to write about, but doubt I ever will. Certain struggles that our family had were tough. Hard on mom and dad, hard on the kids. (By the way, Mr. F.McG, I hope you had lots of misery in your life before you died, after the misery you dealt us. “Man of God, Elder of the Church, my ass”.
As eagles raise their young, they gradually remove the soft padding in the nest to encourage the young to “move out”. Whether by design, or by circumstance, our nest was structured such that moving out was desirable. High School graduation came, and I never lived at home again. Sister was 6 years younger than me. When I left, she was 12. Honestly, I can say I don’t recall ever having a conversation with her of any substance prior to that time.
Fundamentalist upbringing leaves you with certain things. In aviation, we call certain of these “training scars”…no matter how much it might not serve you, you do things an established way. (witness the newly minted helicopter pilot that carefully follows the taxiways before takeoff….why?…helicopters go up, then they go on course…)
Marriages came and went, for both my sister and me. Our other two siblings managed to stay married to the original spouses, but Sister and I were marked. Years later, as the quarterly visits to see the parents progressed, Sister married a good man. My bro-in-law has been wonderful to her. He has been good to our parents. He has been welcoming, and kind to me.
As the years went by, visits transitioned from “staying at mom and dads” to “staying at Sister’s”. More time was spent together. Sister and bro-in-law began to take vacation time to travel West to see me during fire season. Conversations became deeper.
This year, Sister redid “my” bathroom at her house. Stocked it with “my” shaving cream, and razor. Always has “my” coffee. The two of them came to see me recently, bringing gifts of toothpaste, underwear, and shaving supplies.
The hikes we did were fun. The laughter even more fun. The realization that Sister was, truly, my best friend….loved me…cared for me…and was my “BFF”….
September 1, 2020 at 8:55 pm
Fun hikes with a bit of your “Now, we can head back anytime when you get tired!!” followed by my resolved answer, “No, no, I’m good, I can do it!!”. All the while with aches and pains in my knees but ending with an immense exhilarating personal satisfaction of completing each new adventure. Not just hiking, but all the adventures in the air including my hair raising rides in a T-6 and a P-51 Mustang but also learning to turn and bank in an L-19 Bird Dog.
You challenge me to reach higher, push harder, laugh longer. BFF! Yes, indeed!
September 1, 2020 at 8:59 pm
You a making me bawl today!!! I feel your love!!
Marked. Yes. Marked by the 666 beast of the big “D”. And yet, I’m so glad to be where I am today than where I was 30 or 40 years ago.
I thank you!!! You have my utmost respect!!
Sent from my iPhone
September 1, 2020 at 10:22 pm
I can relate, to some extent… similar childhood background with some even more private quirks.
Currently living with my closest sis while waiting to close on a house. The wife of 29 years decided I was beyond redemption after my last motorcycle mishap, and told me to leave even before I was capable of caring for myself. I refused to do so, and put off the inevitable for almost a year.
Sis welcomed me into her home with no questions asked, and wants me to stay. Even offered to allow me to build an addition to have my own space, but circumstances require me to have my own place.
I had forgotten what it was like to live with someone who loves me and enjoys my company. Forgot what it was like to relax and enjoy, instead of either walking on tiptoes, or arguments followed by weeks of cold anger.
Thank God for sisters.